Pics: Beautiful flowers from family & friends/Sara & Ian/Brett & Felix (Fee’s sucking on a syringe – don’t worry no needle). At Mater Private I had my own room, bathroom and balcony, which was all rather nice.

4th Feb 2010 – diary entry

First real look at my chest. The dressing can’t get wet, so a nurse sponge bathed my back as I did my face and underarms. With a towel wrapped around my chest I showered my lower half. Part of protecting your lymph system against lymphodema is to maintain well-moisturised skin. After ‘enlivening’ mine I did the does my bum look big in this side to side glancing in the bathroom mirror.

I’m 5ft3 (162cm) tall, weigh 52kg, and my hair is short, and thick-wavy like Mia Farrow in her Sinatra days. I might be 35, but the image before me is of an eleven year old. I’m pre-adolescent again. Flat on the back and front. My shoulders are broad so t-shirts used to hang down before breasts interrupted the curtain look and made a woman out of me. This re-newed body is familiar. I’m doing it again. I’ve lived through the emergence of womanly bits before. However, this time my form will be female but my fertility wont. I am a changeling.